I found this in The Age forums, and got a chuckle out of it, so thought I'd post it here as an antidote to me swearing a lot this morning...
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Australians always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behaviour. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in Australia.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
5 comments:
*applause*
It staggers me how many people try running these utterly stupid arguments as if they make some sort of sense.
I must say, that forum makes from bloody gripping reading - I can't believe some of the comments being left. My faves would surely be those (serious) 'OMG how will the species survive????' ones...
Sometimes I wonder how these people muster the mental resources required to log on to the internet.
Good to see the ACT acting "in defiance" of the PM by fast-tracking the civil union laws, at the very least.
Being gay is not natural. Real Australians always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
I'd be careful with this one. If you examine it closely, the critique retains the "natural/artificial" dichotomy of that which it is criticising, by comparing homosexuality to eyeglasses, polyester and air conditioning.
It is the very notion that homosexuality is somehow "less natural" than heterosexuality that is at issue here.
I hope that you all realise that this list was origionally created by a group of activists fighting homophobia, they used sarcasm to show how stupid the arguements against Gay Marriage are, so they were designed to make little point.
Yes Mike, I did realise that, which is why I posted it here in the first place; I thought it was a fun example of sarcasm used to debunk the facile arguments of the right.
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